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Wednesday, February 27, 2002
I know that I have been blogging just some random things lately and nothing really that personal. I have been realizing that I have so many imperfections in my life, I don't know what people really think of me when they see me or what not. What kind of person do they see? Do they really even know me? Maybe they know a things about me, but do they really know who I am? I can hardly think of anyone who really knows or understands me. So where does this leave me? Feeling so broken many of the times, feeling so unloved when sitting alone by myself at times, how can I be the loving person that God calls us to be? How can you love others when you yourself don't feel loved. I know for a fact that God loves us all, how do you feel his love when you need it the most? I wrote this web log a couple months back (Nov 8th, 2001) where I felt like I was being taken granted for. This whole time, I felt like I was being so victimized, but in reality, I have been taking God for granted my whole life. I've always known this, and tried avoid thinking about this many of the times. I felt like I should always been given the attention when things aren't going well for me, but I barely give God the time of day that He deserves. Even the past couple months I have been thinking about this and I have this in my mind, I've been doing my devotions, praying more, giving up time on a regular basis. How can I feel the love from God? I feel angry, most of the times just frustrated and down, especially at several situations. Still feel so imperfected, so much sin in my life, how could I ever be the man of God that He wants me to be?
posted by raphael at 11:37 PM
Monday, February 25, 2002
After work I finally had some time to go to the gym. I havent gone for about 2 weeks now, because sometimes I felt sick, busy, or lazy. So as I was coming back home to my apartment from the gym, I have to make a left turn on Stanford St. So as I was approaching the left turn lane I see this rabbit running across the street, and I saw his eyes reflecting off my headlights. So as I was slowing down to yeild to the traffic coming against me, the rabbit was slowing down its pace. I never though it would slow down like that, I thought it would just keep on running if it sensed something was coming to it. But the rabbit was slowing down and came to a stop, I had no choice but to aim and try to go it over between the 2 tires of my car. As I was going over it, a "THUMP!", I heard! OH NO! And when i was making my left turn I looked back at my rear view mirror and I see this lump of dead fur on the road where I had made a left turn! My first ever road kill! So sad man, I thought it would keep on going and try to avoid me as I was coming close to it.
posted by raphael at 9:21 PM
Friday, February 22, 2002
so whats the deal with all these people/teams not winning it all?.....first it was the yankees that went down, then the rams went down, US womens hockey team with a 35 game winning streak came down to lose the gold, then michelle kwan fell to get a bronze............what does this mean about the Lakers?...are they going down this year!?.....i hope not and they better not!
posted by raphael at 12:50 PM
Thursday, February 21, 2002
thought to ponder............. ok i did some research on some rollercoasters.....so i expect maybe a little comment on this...... -These rollercoasters, built and designed by top engineering firms from all over the world, built and designed by top professional engineers and architects with loads of education. These massive steel coasters made to entertain people, race their hearts, pump thier adrenalin, etc. These giant steel structures costing from a range of $10-30 million dollars. Why oh why are they controlled by 2 high schoolers (who just passed 10th grade biology) pressing the green, yellow and red buttons?????? -Just a little little bitter for being stuck on batman for 25 minutes in the loading zone, and I couldnt ride X cuz there was only 1 train running which resulted in a 4 hour wait. After being stuck and still strapped in on batman for about 10-12 minutes in the loading zone, one of those workers came up to us and just said this, "We are having technical difficulty." Well NO DUH!!!! Thank you for that wonderful insight, it just made me feel more relaxed. -Its ok though...I am over it already, just wanted to share with you this thought I had in mind
posted by raphael at 9:39 AM
Tuesday, February 19, 2002
well my 89's maxima is toast now, its pretty much out of commission and will cost way too much to fix and repair it......its ok, i am not sad about it or anything, its just a car....no big loss for me. well this past weekend was a good weekend for me, i spent alot of time with my cousin christine and i got pretty chummy with her in the short span of time she as here......i am going to miss her alot when she heads back to taiwan......i called her up today at my dads house and talked to her to see if everything was going ok and if she was all packed up and stuff......she said she had a really great time while she was here and that she will never forget her trip......she said she bought me a gift and left it in my room....yay!...i am sure i would like it whatever it is!.....she told me that she would miss me alot and i told her that i miss her alot as well.....i wished i could have gone to the airport to see her off, but i didnt have the chance to...not sure if she is going to come back and visit anytime soon =/.
posted by raphael at 11:13 PM
Monday, February 18, 2002
well i went to magic mountain with my cousin christine today....i was kinda afraid that she would be too scared to go on the big roller coaster rides......so what did i do?...i made her go on goliath first...an all stell coaster, 255ft. high and speeds up to 85mph....she took it alrite afterwards, hehe....we went on most of the big rides, and the only ones we didnt go on was de ja vu (closed) and X (4 hour wait...peepee to that!).........she took most of these rides well enough...hehe......well these rides arent scary to me at all, but when i saw her reaction to some of the first drops on the rides, she would close her eyes and sometimes grab my sweater really tightly, hehe.......but she still had fun, but i kinda felt bad that she was scared on most of the rides........its ok, i made up for it by getting funnel cake at the end.....hehe........ well i spent alot of time with my cousin this weekend from friday till monday, and we went out to all these places, speed zone, sea world, movies, and magic mountain....its really one of the rare times i spent time and hung out with a relative.....she is a really awesome and fun person......she is leaving tomorrow back to taiwan and i miss her alot already.
posted by raphael at 11:13 PM
Sunday, February 17, 2002
my cousin christine came to visit this past week and she stayed at my parents place in west covina...i finally got the chance to meet her and hang out on friday night....i had taken her to speed zone, and i havent been there for about 2 years or so, it was really fun and i think she liked it alot as well, but she was kinda afraid of the other cars bumping her......and so the next day, saturday, i took her to sea world and saw shamu splashing people in the splash zone.....we actually got to touch a bat ray, cuz last time they wouldnt come near me......we actually went to every attraction in about 4-5 hours...all the shows and all the aquariums...........and so after that we came home and ate dinner.. so then at night i took her to the movies and we saw "I am Sam"......gosh!, i must be getting more sentimental now that i am a little older now......but this movie man!, made me all mushy and soft inside.....there were so many different moments that made me all like teary eyed man.....well not teary teary, but you know what i mean....anyways...none of y'all were there to witness anything or see me...so you cant say anything...hehe...... well tomorrow i am going to take my cousin to magic mountain.....i hope she doesnt freak out on the rides...hehe
posted by raphael at 9:56 PM
Friday, February 15, 2002
well, at least the MLB players had fun and productive day on valentines.........for me, you can ask me what i did, but you wont get any interesting answers or anything to that nature cuz there's nothing to say (yes it was that fun for me).....well what did you all do for valentines?.........hmmm well today is when i get to see my wrecked car, and hopefully tow it back to my dads place cuz he wants to see what he can do with it.........still going to cost over $1000 to repair it......so i dont think we are going to do that, and i dont think we are going to get another car, we did have an extra old car so i am using that right now....hopefully that would hold up stronger than the other one.......let's see, any interesting things to say to y'all.....hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....nope, sorry for the few of you who read this, nothing interesting to say at this moment.....maybe the next one will be better.
posted by raphael at 8:38 AM
Thursday, February 14, 2002
well today is the big day!......February 14!.......you know what that means, love is in the air!..........ahhh can you smell it??.......the day that Spring Training starts for pitchers and catchers for MLB this year....
posted by raphael at 8:56 AM
Tuesday, February 12, 2002
DOH!!!!......my car is really really busted......after i had it towed to the mechanic, the dude changed the broken radiator hose and so the total came out to be over $150 for those things alone.........then he told me the head gasket is wrecked and needs to be replaced......gonna cost over $800 for just replacing the head gastket.........DOH!!.....i dont know...i called my dad and i dont think we are going to have it repaired...at least not right now...it cost too much and i think we are just going to think about it for a couple days and see what happens........what would you do if you were in this position?
posted by raphael at 5:26 PM
Sunday, February 10, 2002
great =/....my car just got busted.....i found out it was over heating when i was exiting the freeway on my way to irvine.....how did i find out my car was overheating?....when i stopped at the red light right when i exited, and all this smoke started coming out of my hood.....i pulled over and i opened up the hood and all this steam/smoke just came out, so my radiator is busted or something and i cant help it right now.......i never thought i would be in a position my car would overheat, all the times i seen people pulled over on the freeways who overheated, i sometimes chuckled at them cuz i never thought i would be like them....i drive a 1989 maxima for goodness sakes...its not that old.........now i sympathize for these people who have or had their car overheated and they had to pullover and look helpless...............I was afraid to start the car back up, thinking it might blow up on me or something, but thank goodness it didnt. and by the grace of God, He held my car together enough so that I could have driven it back to my apartment which was a mile away.....thank you God.
posted by raphael at 9:42 PM
Wednesday, February 06, 2002
hmmmm, lets see what i can share with all few of you guys who actually read the stuff i write down.........well my cable at home hasnt been working for the past day or so...i am not sure what is going on with that cuz i dont even know if the problem is with the cable company or what.....anyways, it totally feels like i cant do anything on the computer without the internet.........it seems so lifeless without the internet....i mean, how can i know whats going on in the sports world wihtout espn.com??......hehehe...anyways.....well my technical writing class is such a joke, i cant believe a class like that is required for us to graduate......it seems so elementary....but oh well, i aint going to complain about easy work.....by the way, if you all have a palm pilot, what changes would you like to see on it? (that hasnt already been done)......hook me up with a comment ASAP cuz i need to write a draft by tomorrow...................hehe......ok well thats all i have to share for now, everything else is kinda personal to me........sorry for the few of you guys who read this.......i promise i will have a better blog to share next time....
posted by raphael at 6:33 PM
Monday, February 04, 2002
just reading articles about how the patriots beat the rams just gets me in more of a denial mode, i still cant believe it................i have been analyzing this year in sports and i've been seeing a small pattern here.........the bigger teams have been going down in championship games...first the yankees went down, then the rams went down......and please, i hope the lakers dont go down like that at the end of this nba season...........good gracious no!...just say to me, "raph! dont think like that, its not going to happen!"
posted by raphael at 5:42 PM
Sunday, February 03, 2002
i cant believe the rams lost, i know they are still the better team................other than the superbowl, this weekend was definitely not a good weekend overall....period
posted by raphael at 11:04 PM
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